Unexpected Detours

It’s funny how at the very time that we most need to use tools like meditation, yoga and positive thinking, we can easily not get around to any of those things because we are so distracted by what needs to be done to get through the next few hours and days. The same can happen to keeping a blog up to date! Even a small crisis can totally throw you off your game no matter how well-prepared you think you may be. Or maybe you don’t realize you’re weathering the crisis well because you are prepared.

I learned that at the end of October, 2012 and then had the lesson reinforced only a few days later. First, the region was hit by Hurricane Sandy. Almost everyone in the area lost power, and we suddenly had to figure out how to get along without it for a week or more. It wasn’t just the loss of power in our own homes that was an issue. Stores closed, gas was almost impossible to get, and (perhaps the most challenging thing of all) yoga classes were cancelled.

And then, as if we didn’t have enough stress from the hurricane (although compared to others in the region who lost their entire homes and, in some cases, lives, we really didn’t suffer much at all), my mom fell down the basement stairs at my house and broke a shoulder and a few ribs. The immediate experience had me so unsettled that I can’t really write about it in detail. Suffice it to say that my mind was spinning with worst case scenarios and the various plans I had for the near future suddenly didn’t seem very important. In fact, I started to wonder if anything is really important. You just never know. And it could have been so much worse!

I hope that some of the spiritual things I’ve learned and practiced have made me more ready to deal with these kinds of “sidetracks.” I don’t like them. I like to know what is going to happen, and I like to be in control! I guess I’m not so unusual in that regard, although there do seem to be a fair share of people on the planet who just fly by the seat of their pants and then depend on others to get them through whatever they can’t handle. I got to thinking about the whole idea of needing, asking for, counting on, and expecting help from others. I find it extremely difficult to ask for anything. I’m afraid of needing help, in part because I don’t think I’ve been helpful enough to deserve it. I do what I can, but I never feel like it’s enough.

I didn’t expect that daily visits to my mom in rehab would be added to my days in November. What it meant, other than the obvious – worrying about Mom – is that some of my personal goals had to be suspended for a while. The most obvious was my newfound commitment to write more, which suddenly had to take a back seat for the most part until after the holidays.

Mom is on the mend now (and quite a trooper I might add). As things settle down and get a bit back to normal, I’m acutely aware not to trust that they will necessarily stay this way. For now, though, it’s time to get back to my writing, this time with much more appreciation for the time that I have to do it!

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